Only condut business as above!
Mariah Carey is so much more than just a diva she is the mistress of sass. So when life throws you lemons, don’t make lemonde just be MORE MARIAH by following this life changing lessons as learnt from our current TV obsession, Mariah's World...
1. Conduct ALL meetings on a chaise longue
A girl has got to do her business in comfort. Possibly get someone to feed you grapes at the same time for some extra sass.
2. When the sh*t hits the fan, blame everyone else
Life sometimes throws tricky situations at you. In these moments of crisis pose like a pro and then blame everyone else. For example, the infamous MC NYE microphone melt down.
3. COMMIT to accessorising
Diamonds are to be worn at ALL times, even when jumping into the ocean from one’s luxury yacht.
4. You are your own competition
You have no contempories...
5. Know your angles
You have a good side and people should respect that when taking one’s photo.
6. If you wear flats you will have a flat life
The higher you are the higher the high notes!
7. Ensure your loungewear is LUX
Drape your silk dressing gown (a shabby fleece will not suffice) around oneself strategically, make sure you put the race into lacy with your slip dress and finish with fluffy heeled sandals. You don’t need to move, people will come to you.
8. If you don’t like yourself be someone else
Like a brunette babe for instance
9. Nab yourself a prime piece
Ideally one with rippling abs, a golden glow and a gent who knows his way around a dance routine. Snake hips are a must.
10. Wheel and deal
MC earns £376,000 each year from All I Want For Christmas Is You. Think of a great seasonal money spinner, Christmas tree farm perhaps?
11. Know your worth gurl
Someone wants you to fly you from USA to London for a soiree? You demand nothing less than £2.5 million and a stay in London’s Landmark Hotel Presidential suite which costs £1,450 a night. Because babe you are so worth it.
12. Celebrating birthdays is for old people
Mariah doesn’t celebrate birthdays she once told Out Magazine, ‘I don’t count years, but I definitely rebuke them- I have anniversaries, not birthdays, because I celebrate life, darling.’ Why not celebrate oneself, everyone is obsessed with you any way... PREACH!
13. Sunglasses block out the world
Peasants step aside, royalty is coming through!
14. Never forget it's always JUST about me...
Continued below...
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